Circus Giganticus

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Ye Gods

November 10th, 2009 · No Comments · Wentworth and Wiggmann Wednesday

Wentworth: You know Wiggy, all religions have their share of quirks.

Wiggmann: Is that what they call followers these days, Worthy?

Wentworth: No, no, Wiggy. It’s more to say that each religion is host to certain strange notions and bizarre practices. For example, the Mormons believe in sacred underpants.

Wiggmann: Ahhhh,  holy unmentionables…a paradox for the Gods.

Wentworth: Yes, they seem to adhere to the notion that these underpants are the sole property of one person’s ass and any violation of said property is bad for the soul.

Wiggmann: There is a hinky God that sniffs within the panty drawers of Utah.

Wentworth: Wiggy, tolerance is the order of the day. If someone were to clown your religious beliefs how would that strike you?

Wiggmann: Like a crème pie in the faith.



Wentworth: Wiggy, soccer is the most popular game in the world. At parks and fields one sees young soccer players in youthful abandon. Did you play soccer as a child, Wiggy?

Wiggmann: Is that the game where you use mallets to knock about the severed heads of your vanquished enemies?

Wentworth: Er, no, it’s the game that features the black and white ball the insertion of which in designated confines constitutes a goal or point.

Wiggmann: Oh yes, the game so boring that fans in the stadium descend into a drunken fugue state and render violent improprieties and shocking mayhem unto one another. Soccer hooligans I believe is the popular designation of said malefactors. And why is it that most countries that enthuse about soccer are primarily Catholic nations?

Wentworth: Presumably it is because they have hospital charity wards for the suffering.

Wiggmann: Yes, I see it now: the Fighting Jesuits! The Kicking Conquistadors! John Paul, John Paul, hike that skirt and kick those balls!”

Wentworth:  “Oh Father O’Malley, forgive me…I didn’t mean to soccer!”

Wiggmann:  “Don’t lose the point of it all, my son. The Church decrees it’s your right to score on your bitch! Say twenty Real Madrids and spank Manchester United!”

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