Circus Giganticus

by Reverend Rike Sanborn III

For this morning’s sermon on Hung Over With Reverend Rike Sanborn, let us turn to Beastie Boys 2:11 verses 4 through 7:

“Ya Dad caught ya smokin’ and he said NO WAY!
That hypocrite smokes two packs a day
Yeahhhhh, livin’ at home is such a drag
Ya Ma threw away yer best porno mag!”

By this we should again revisit the words of Cheech and Chong Book of Verses 3:16 to 3:24:

“My mama talkin’ to me tell me how to try and live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve…”

And let us rejoice in the words of Captain Spaulding Book of Virtues 4:11 to 4:12:

“Ya see here, I’m on super secret clown business and clown business supercedes all other kinds ‘a’ business. You understand…?”

Many in the Congregation ask me,”Reverend Rike, how do I approach and manage the day’s tribulations before Happy Hour? How do I maintain my faith?

To this I say verily, “Early in the evenin’, early in the mornin’, early in the afternoon…”

And pray, hold true the words of Saint Charles of the Fifth whence he proclaimeth: “That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink as an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”

Many of the faithful rejoice in their day and take succor from the passages, these passages, from the Godfather of Soul;

“Fellas I’m ready to get up and do my thing,
I wanta get into it man, ya know…like a..
Like a sex machine
Movin’ and doin’ it, ya know?
Can I count it off?
1 2 3 4
Get on up
Get on up
Stay on the scene like a sex machine
Get on up
Stay on the scene
Like a lovin’ machine
Can we hit it one more time like we did from the top?
Get on up
One more time
Can we hit it and quit
Can we hit it and quit
One more time
Get on up”

These are trying times, as my insurance agent reminds me, and acts of God are without comprehensive policy coverage, “How do I insure myself against the uncertainties of the future?” you wonder.

Brother Blackalicious will deliver unto us this day our daily affirmation: “A forty ounce for breakfast can get me through the day.’

Amen to that, Brother.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites